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Birinchi jinsiy aloqa

19.04.2012
Har bir ayol va erkakning hayotida yuz beradigan birinchi jisniy aloqa aynan chimildiq eshiklari ortida bo'lishini o'zbekchiligimiz, madaniyatimiz, urf-odatimiz va dinimiz taqazo etadi. Aslida chimilqiqqa kirish bahtiga erishganlar bor, erishmaganlar ham bor. Chimildiqdagi birinchi kechani imkon boricha ijobiy tomondan esda qolarlik qilib o'tkazish foydadan xoli bo'lmaydi. Birinchidan, yangalar kutib o'tirgan bo'lishidan qat'iy nazar shoshilmang. Axir bu sizning hayotingiz, sizning turmush o'rtog'ingiz bilan birgalikda qo'yayotgan birinchi qadamlaringizdir. Oldingizda axir butun tun. Shoshib-pishib harakat qilishdan hech kim yutmaydi. To'y yumushlaridan charchagan yangalar mazza qilib uxlab oladi, xolos. Ikkinchidan, chimildiqqa kirishingiz bilan aloqaga kirishmang. Erkak ham, ayol ham bunga ruhan tayyor bo'lishi kerak. O'zbekchilikdagi urf-odatlarga ko'ra ko'pincha bo'lajak er-xotin bir-biri bilan sovchilar yordamida tanishib turmush quradilar, bunda er-xotin bir-birini deyarli tanimagan bo'ladi. Shuning uchun chimildiq ichida bir-biringizga ruhan yaqinlashib, ana undan keyin jismoniy yaqinlashishni boshlasangiz bo'ladi. Uchinchidan, ruhiy yaqinlashuv vujudga kelishi uchun, bir-biringiz bilan romantik mavzuda gaplashing. Ayol juda qo'rqayogan bo'lsa, erkak uni o'ziga ishontirish maqsadida ko'nglini ko'tarishi lozim. Erkak qattiq asabiylashayotgan bo'lsa, ayol unga mehribonroq bo'lib, tajanglik qilmasligi darkor. To'rtinchidan, birinchi jinsiy aloqa keyingi aloqalar uchun muhim poydevordir. U qanchalik ruhan yoqimli o'tsa, shunchalik er-xotin orasidagi keyingi jinsiy munosabatlar yaxshi va ravon bo'ladi. Albatta, ayol uchun birinchi jinsiy aloqa jismonan yoqimli bo'lmasligi mumkin, lekin u aynan shu kuni birinchi bor erining mehrini, unga bo'lgan hurmatini, insonni qadrlay olish qobiliyatini va muhabbatini his eta oladi. Beshinchidan, aloqaning maqsadi yangalarni xursand qilish emas, balki bir-biringizni xursand qilish ekanligi haqida unutmang. Oltinchidan, chimildiq ilohiy bir joy bo'lgani uchun, unda har xil nojo'yi soz'lar ishlatish, haqorat va janjal chiqishidan ehtiyot bo'ling. Yettinchidan, chimildiqqa birov kirishiga yo'l qo'ymang. Chimildiq faqat siz va turmush o'rtog'ingiz uchun yaratilgan joy. Sakkizinchidan, qo'shilib bo'lgandan so'ng, albatta, bir-biringizga minnatdorchilik bildirish haqida unutmang. Ayol kishi uyalgani bilan, uning tabassumidan yoki keyinchalik eriga k'orsatayotgan mehridan minnatdorchiligini bilib olsa bo'ladi. To'qqizinchidan, ayol uchun birinchi aloqa tajribasi uning keyinchalik aloqadan lazzatlana olish qobiliyatiga juda ta'sir qiladi. Ayolda qo'shilishga yoki turmush o'rtog'iga nisbatan nafrat uyg'nmasligi uchun erkak ma'sulitatlidir. O'ninchidan, ota-onangiz duolari bilan sizga chimildiqqa kirish nasib aylagani uchun Hudoimga shkuronalar aytishni unutmang.
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